Make Meaning, Cope Well (Part 1: Spiritual Questioning and Meaning-Making)
Introduction: Difficult life experiences and related stress or trauma can cause disorientation and discomfort. Naturally, people look for ways to resolve their questions and doubts, to reorient themselves. Under the best of circumstances, they reconstruct a life narrative that doesn't deny what has happened and is life-affirming in how it makes sense of it.
Life challenges and the quest for meaning
Difficult life experiences often lead to spiritual questions, which then result in a quest to put one's internal (and, sometimes, external) world in order. People often turn to the Divine when human resources have been stretched beyond capacity. Both stress and trauma prompt people to make meaning.
Outgrowing your understanding
If trauma is a stressful experience that overwhelms a person's ability to cope, is it surprising that such an experience might require rebuilding afterwards?
Trauma researcher Stacy Smith writes, "A traumatic event may overwhelm the soul's ability to contain it and fit it into the larger spiritual consciousness. As a result, processing a traumatic event almost always leads to a search for new meaning and purpose as well as a need for the soul to expand enough to contain the trauma."
Like the hermit crabs pictured above, after experiencing trauma, people typically outgrow their pre-trauma framework for understanding themselves, others, and the world. The cramped feeling caused by living within their prior understanding (which now feels outdated) eventually spurs them to revise their understanding to accommodate their experience.
Smith notes that this process is frequently a spiritual one (whether or not a person would consider themselves spiritual or religious) and observes, "Once these beliefs have been reassessed, the new understanding becomes a tool to help the person process the trauma. In this way, the need to understand things at a spiritual level serves as an impetus for addressing and recovering from trauma." Smith and others suggest that the often uncomfortable spiritual questioning process that takes place after a traumatic experience prompts a person to make meaning to lessen the discomfort, thereby creating the very conditions for a person to heal and grow.
Not a malfunction
As I quote in my post, "Update Your Stress Mindset to Thrive," Kelly McGonigal, PhD states: "Human beings have an innate instinct and capacity to make sense out of their suffering. This instinct is even part of the biological stress response, often experienced as rumination, spiritual inquiry, and soul-searching. Stressful circumstances awaken this process in us. This is one more reason why a stressful life is often a meaningful life; stress challenges us to find the meaning in our lives." Put differently, the spiritual questioning and meaning-making prompted by stressful circumstances is not a malfunction, it's a feature of being human.
McGonigal discusses the process described above from a different angle than Smith. First, McGonigal's research on stress shows that meaning-making can happen after stressful circumstances, not just after trauma. Second, she points out that if people never encountered stress, which results in meaning-making, then they might not appreciate (or even discover) meaning aspects of their lives. Stress can be beneficial and can help us to enjoy more meaningful lives.
Experiences that provoke boldness, finding the words
American theologian Walter Brueggemann's work to understand the Psalms and make contemporary and practical the spiritual practice of praying the Psalms illustrates a process of spiritual questioning and of turning to one's spirituality during periods of disorientation and is useful to understand and assess a process in which one integrates very stressful or traumatic experiences into one's life narrative.*
Brueggemann outlines the typical human experience as marked by periods of "being securely oriented," "being painfully dislocated," and "being surprisingly reoriented." In Praying the Psalms, he notes that it is periods of dislocation or disorientation that lead to the most vibrant prayerful expression in the Psalms and asserts, "our common experience is not one of well-being and equilibrium, but a churning, disruptive experience of dislocation and relocation." Brueggemann also notes, "Psalms offer speech when life has gone beyond our frail efforts to control."
Brueggemann observes that scholars of many disciplines have emphasized the importance of the experience of disorientation in individual and communal development and ultimate flourishing. Regarding "experiences of life that lie beyond our conventional copings," Brueggemann emphasizes, these provoke the boldness to communicate with God in the midst of our pain. Additionally, Brueggemann asserts, the Psalms offer us a model and, even words to use, which speak honestly of "the powerful, dangerous, and joyful rawness of human reality."
Spiritual questioning is normal
The need to ask spiritual questions and to make meaning is profoundly human. Far from being abnormal or evidence of a spiritual failing, spiritual questioning after a stressful or traumatic experience is a common human response and a potentially helpful one. Beyond being helpful to the healing and growth experiences of people throughout the centuries, as stress researcher Kelly McGonigal observes, stress can create meaning in our lives and, as theologian Walter Brueggemann notes, some of the most authentically human, passionate, and beautiful prayers, art, and literature have been birthed out of stress or trauma.
Normalizing disorientation
The Psalms feature regular human emotion. Basic life experiences and emotions described in the Psalms are similar to the essential experiences of people who might pray the Psalms (regardless of time or place).
We, too, can go from normal, everyday life (orientation) to disorientation and then, eventually, to finding ourselves in a place where our challenging life experience has been integrated successfully into our life narrative and we find a new and renewed appreciation for life, for God, and for life with God (reorientation).
Brueggemann observes that the Psalter contains psalms that represent each of these internal experiences (orientation, disorientation, and reorientation) and asserts that praying these psalms can help people to learn how to lament and to share their pain honestly with God who hears and sees (cf. Genesis 16:13). Entering into authentic, honest conversation with God can be an example of leaning into positive religious coping methods (see "Make Meaning, Cope Well: Part 2: Religious Coping Methods").
While more can be said about praying the Psalms and the journey from disorientation to reorientation, the main point of this post is that disorientation resulting from challenging life experiences and eventual reorientation is a normal part of the human experience. Despite the shame that many people may feel when they experience disorientation, from a theological/spiritual and from a scientific/research perspective, spiritual questioning and meaning-making are normal processes after significant stress or trauma.
Reconstructing a life narrative
After a challenging life event, we may well have to pick up broken pieces and decide what to do with them, determine how our former beliefs fit or don't fit into our new life narrative.
During college, I attended a study abroad program in a place with a history of identity-based violence. I visited a church that had lost a stained glass window due to a car bomb. Instead of trashing the rubble, church members had reused the broken shards of colored glass to build a stained glass window, featuring the Resurrection. Memorials and monuments communicate messages. In this case, through their new window, the community reminded themselves and testified to contemporaries and to future generations that healing is not about forgetting the past. Instead, healing is about gathering up the broken pieces, persisting in worship together, and viewing a painful past in light of God's actions to heal and restore, indeed, to bring life from death.
After you finish reading this post, I recommend "Make Meaning, Cope Well (Part 2: Religious Coping Methods)." It reflects on how religious/spiritual coping methods can be helpful or harmful. Helpful religious coping methods open a person to potential reorientation after challenging life experiences, whereas, unhelpful religious coping methods disconnect people from potentially supportive relationships with God and other people and perpetuate disorientation.
Conclusion
After significant stress or trauma, it is appropriate to grieve and lament. It's also important to make meaning. Choose healing religious/spiritual coping methods that help you to develop a reconstructed life narrative that supports your healing journey rather than one that pulls you into despair.
Key Takeaways
Resources
Praying the Psalms: Engaging Scripture and the Life of the Spirit (Walter Brueggemann)